Crazy Voicemail Messages from the Animal Removal Industry

In 2009 we still find that the public's perception of who we are what what we do is a bit "off". If you ask 10 random people who they would call if they had a squirrel in their house at least 5 of them would say either the police department or their town's animal control. In general we find that a good percentage of people are not aware that animal removal services is it's own separate industry and that there are professional companies out there that specialize in these services. Some people think we're town animal control while others seem to think that we're animal rescue. Some people are just misguided while others simply haven't done their research to see who they're calling. This all makes for some very amusing phone calls and voicemails. Some of the voicemails that are left on my phone are nothing short of hilarious. We get calls from people wanting help with domestic animals, farm animals, reporting suspected animal cruelty and also people that are just 100% crazy. About a year ago I began saving the funny messages on my phone so I could share them with my friends and my wife. I then transferred these messages into .wav files so that I could post them here and share them with the world. Of course I've edited out any names and locations that were left in the messages to protect the innocent/misguided.

Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.

Dead Goat in a Dumpster (click to listen)

The first call is from a man that looked in the yellow pages under the pest control category and decided that we looked like the right people to call to report that 3 men were throwing a dead goat into a dumpster.

Dog Pulling a Tiller (click to listen)

This call is from a woman that is calling to ask us to go investigate a strange situation with her neighbor. Apparently her neighbor has attached a tiller to the family dog and is making the dog drag it around to rake leaves?

Vampire Bat Attack (click to listen)

This call is from a couple of kids that decided to leave a prank on my voicemail. They are acting like they are being attacked by a vampire bat. This kid has left me pranks in the past also.

Groundhog Guinea Pig (click to listen)

This guy is looking to get rid of his "blackish white groundhog guinea pig" and wants us to come pick it up.

Water Buffalo (click to listen)

This guy calls to report a Water Buffalo that is stuck in a hole on Friday morning. This was odd as we seem to get most of our water buffalo calls over the weekend.

Beheaded Squirrel on Christmas Day (click to listen)

A woman calls to report a beheaded squirrel behind a building on Christmas day. She also mentions that a couple kids have got sick due to the headless squirrel. I can just picture this scene.

The Sad Turkey (click to listen)

A woman calls to report a sad turkey running around in the street in Easton Ma.

Dead Cat on Doorstep (click to listen)

A man calls wanting help with a dead, frozen, road-killed cat that someone left on his doorstep sometime during the night.